Life is Evanescence
by Nithiril
Summary: OroxOC She was the jinchuuriki of Nanabi. He was a ninja. He met an innocent little girl with milky white skin near his parents' grave. She had to die but he had grown fond of the little girl... many oneshots-songfics. Evanescence's songs.Rating may chang
1. Field of innocence

_**WARNING** : My english sucks. It's not my native language and I have no beta-reader. I'm sorry. Please report any mistake and give me a piece of your mind about the whole story. I want to make another one so..._

_I really wanted to write it in english..._

_Disclaimer : I don't own Naruto blablabla... but Soliacé is mine ! _

_I don't own the song either. _

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**_Field of innocence_**

--

**_I still remember the world_**

**_From the eyes of a child_**

He found her near his parents' grave. The light of the sun fading away, beyond the forest. She was there, just a little girl with white hair, milky white skin and the ghost of a smile.

"Who are you ?" he spoke.

She turned around, her eyes; the purest green, the green of young leaves under the sun.

"Soliacé. Are they your family ?"

Her voice was like the one of a sparrow. She didn't seem older than six. She had round cheeks and a baby nose.

He just nodded.

"Does it bother you if I stay ? I'd love to have parents I could visit !"

This little girl was weird.

"They are dead. This is a grave can't you see ? If you want parents go find living ones."

"I can't. My nanny would be alone; I don't want her to be alone. Can I stay and share your parents please ? I brought flowers! Look!"

She pointed to the wildflowers on the stone.

Her smile was certainly what made the sun backed away. It was brighter even if her eyes were clouded by tears.

She was afraid he wouldn't let her stay. She was afraid to be alone again…

**_Slowly those feelings_**

**_Were clouded by what I know now_**

The kirin of an old clan she had said, but she didn't know what she really was.

The seven-tails demon. She would have to die to keep the beast inside her, bound to her soul; she couldn't afford to live until her body grew old and weak or the beast would rip her apart and escape. The seven-tails demon was only bound to her by the seal on her neck. The seal of rebirth which keep her soul strong enough to enchained the beast while looking for a new body. The seal which had to be nourish by young blood.

But he had grown fond of the little girl whose smile was brighter than the sun.

He had asked his sensei about the bijuus; but Sarutobi just knew about the phantom clan – the first one to use jinchuuriki - and the destiny of their Keeper. Nothing could be done to change the destiny, to keep her alive.

But he had grown so fond of the girl with white hair and milky white skin. The girl who played in the flowers and asked him how to become as strong as he was.

He had grown so fond of the girl who didn't know she had killed another one to obtain this body of her. The girl who buried each dead animal she found. The girl who cried above his parents' grave and above all the smaller ones she had made all around.

**_Where has my heart gone_**

**_An uneven trade for the real world_**

She would be dangerous if she didn't die. He was a shinobi. He had no sentiment and if he was asked to, he would kill her.

No one should know. No one should have her. The bijuus were a weapon for most villages. She would be used.

He would have to keep her in check, kill her if necessary.

But he had grown fond of the girl who put flowers in her hair.

**_Oh I... I want to go back to_**

**_Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all_**

There had been a time when she had tried again and again to creep up on him but he knew, always. She was much too noisy. She would walk on leaves, ruffled the grass and… chuckled. First he had found it annoying and then, it had become a game. He would make a clone and creep up on her.

She could make him smile. She could make him laugh. She would share her little meals with him and he would stay longer and longer every day, because when he didn't practice he was alone.

**_I still remember the sun_**

**_Always warm on my back_**

Her smile was so warm. She was sweet and caring. She would cry until he let her take care of his wounds with some fresh water, a salve which smelled like flowers He would brush her tears away with his thumb. She would show him her progresses. She would fall and laugh. He would kiss her flesh-wounds and she would kiss his…

**_Somehow it seems colder now_**

One day she disappeared from his life. He said "no", that nothing had changed, but he really felt hollow inside. She had become an important… something, in his life. This girl with wildflowers in her white hair.

**_Where has my heart gone_**

**_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger_**

When she had learned she had known she could not go back there. She shouldn't go back there. She could not love him because she would have to die in her prime. If she loved him, she wouldn't want to die, she wouldn't accept it.

She cried so much that night.

She had fallen in love with this boy whose skin was as white as her, whose eyes were her golden sun.

She could not go back…

**_Oh I... I want to go back to_**

**_Believing in everything_**

He told her tales of ninjas while she put flowers in her hair. She was able to repeat the exact words of his tale. She listened to everything he said.

He was her only human friend, he gave her parents to visit and he played with her. She sang for him, silly songs of a child, song with no beginning and no end, full of joy and innocence.

She believed he was the best, the strongest, the smartest.

He was beautiful and nice. His scent was comforting and sometimes she had slept on his laps.

**_Latin hymn:_**

**_Iesu, Rex admirabilis_**

**_Et triumphator nobilis,_**

**_Dulcedo ineffabilis,_**

**_Totus desiderabilis._**

She worshiped him. She really did.

**_Where has my heart gone_**

**_An uneven trade for the real world_**

He could not be with her forever. His was a ninja. She was a jinchuuriki.

She just thought it was not fair. Together they certainly would die soon but far from each other. He could not live for her. She could not stay alive much longer.

**_Oh I... I want to go back to_**

**_Believing in everything_**

She had given him one of her earrings.

"We're connected from now. We are meant to see each other again and again and again…agmfmffmf"

He had put a hand on her mouth.

"I won't wear this thing. This is girlish."

"Don't wear it. Keep it with you. I'll never forget you and you'll never forget me, and even after our death we will meet again! "

"And if I don't want to see you again?"

"I'll come and find you! I'll chase you better than any ninja would!"

She had smile under the dying sun. She was nine years old and naive, so innocent while he was becoming a man, a killer.

She had made him promise to keep her present forever. She had kissed the corner of his mouth to seal the deal. He blushed for the first and only time in his life.

He had grown fond of this little girl who put her warm smile on his skin, who had soft lips. Lips of a creamy pink, like petals of a rosebud.

She was in love with this strong boy whose skin was as white as hers, who had given her parents to visit and someone to play with.

**_Oh, Where_**

**_Where has my heart gone_**

**_Trapped in the eyes of a stranger_**

She didn't ask him for his name before the second year after they met. She would from then repeat it again and again. Make it roll on her tongue, taste it and pronounce it in the darkness of her dreams to make him appear there.

She knew nothing beside what he told her.

He knew nothing except her name and her secret.

**_Oh I... I want to go back to_**

**_Believing in everything_**

She had once made him a crown of flowers, swore she would marry him and would never leave his side.

He had brushed it off.

It was a promise written on the sand.

She had cried when he had said she was foolish and childish. She had pouted and run. He'd had to catch her or she would have fallen into the ravine. She had pushed against him; she had said that she would show him he wasn't needed.

He had kissed her tears away. She had fallen asleep in his arms; her little hands made fists in his kimono, seizing it as hard as she could.

**_I still remember._**

He looks up at the ceiling of his chamber. He still remembers.

Her smile: nothing was warmer. Her skin, nothing was softer. Her eyes, nothing was purer. Her blood, nothing was more bitter.

He would chase her. He could never forget her even when his plans to destroy Konoha were occupying the slightest of his thoughts. He would see her bright green eyes and hear her laugh.

He would hear her tell him to promise, hear her swear she would never forget.

He was a ninja, he was not a man of feelings. He was a killer, a heartless murderer.

But for her he'd still remember.

How to love.

How to smile, nor a grin neither a smirk, just smile.

How to feel his heart beats.

He still remembers her.

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Pease let me a review. I would love to know if it was bad or not.


	2. My last breath

Wow ! Me again ! I want to thank every reviewer: Iraoftheseven, Wolfy Sound Ninja, Elemental-Keeper, and particularly PearlaH.Sweden because I couldn't reply :). Plus, a special someone : Kamitori, my beta. Thank you so much ! Thanks, thanks. :)

**Disclaimer** : Don't own Orochimaru nor the song, but I do own Soliacé.

Enjoy and leave me a word !

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**My last breath**

La mort de Soliacé

--

**_Hold on to me, love_**

Sorrow, he could handle. He always did. He would just brush it off, just as he did the first time she disappeared from his life.

Anger.

Well, it was another matter. He was quite quick-tempered sometimes, but he would often hide it behind sarcasms.

This time it was different. It was not someone, not something he could influence…

He was one of the best – if not The best – ninja! Damn it!

His face betrayed nothing of his inner turmoil, nor sorrow, neither anger.

He had found her…

**_You know I can't stay long_**

He had found her… in this condition: in the middle of the forest, a splendid ghost in a scarlet pool which flowered on her bosom and spread slowly around her, just like a wedding gown's drape.

His maiden was lying on the snowy floor.

He didn't think. He ran to her.

**_All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid_**

**_Can you hear me?_**

**_Can you feel me in your arms?_**

She coughed petals of blood which fell on her porcelain chin, her dress and his hands.

"Love you…" she whispered.

'Don't speak,' he wanted to tell her, but nothing came out.

His repressed sorrow was overwhelming, an iron grip on his throat; even his breath came painfully out.

Her skin was cold under his fingers. She was dying in his arms and he could do nothing to prevent it. It was her destiny. It was a painful and slow death, but her smile was brighter and warmer than the sun.

He had grown fond of the girl – now a woman - with a sparkle of mischief in her eyes, the girl whose laugh was a rain of crystal.

He was covered in her warm blood but frozen inside.

She was smiling at him and he couldn't even cry for her.

**_Holding my last breath_**

She touched his face, left a red mark on his white cheek. He couldn't help closing his eyes. How long had he longed for this touch? It had been so many years since the day she left to never come back, so long…

She whispered his name. He had to bend the head to hear what she wanted to say… she just, kissed the corner of his mouth. There… blood again.

Why were his heartbeats so… painful? He hadn't even known until then that he had a heart.

**_Safe inside myself_**

**_Are all my thoughts of you_**

**_Sweet rapture light it ends here tonight_**

Laughable. He wanted to kiss her. She was dying and he wanted to _kiss_ her!

He had never told anyone. She had been his secret. He hadn't told anyone, not even himself about the thing that stirred inside him whenever he thought of her. The little girl who had cried in his arms.

He cherished every memory, kept them deep inside, locked in a wooden box which smelled like sun and wild flowers.

**_I'll miss the winter_**

**_A world of fragile things_**

Her eyelashes fluttered. Her breathing slowed down.

He was frozen inside, as if it were his own blood which was flowing out of him. He was struggling with himself to keep his emotions in check. He was not a man of feeling. He should let her die without even bothering to look back. He was dying with her even though he hadn't known that he had been alive.

She started to sob.

"I'm pathetic, am I not?" she breathed.

He didn't respond. He couldn't.

She closed her eyes; tears were streaming down her pale and bloody cheeks.

The sun was disappearing behind the forest and the trees were casting strange shadows over them. The last rays of light bathed her white figure as if she were an angel recalled by God.

He remembered this winter long ago, when she had wanted to make a snowman. She had put her scarf on it. Of course, she had been cold after that. She had laugh, bitten her lower lip and looked up at him. He had sighed and shared his own long and black scarf. She had kissed his cheeks and then, suddenly, he had been warm.

It had been the hardest winter they had known.

**_Look for me in the white forest_**

**_Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)_**

She whispered her last prayer. She wanted to see him again.

"Look at the sky, look at the earth, I'll be there. Come find me… when I rebirth. I'll be waiting for you. Just here."

She promised.

Just here, she would be waiting. The thought eased the pain somehow.

Forever if she had to, she would wait and see him again.

She promised.

She would be here.

"Remember the tree…" she breathed.

**_I know you hear me_**

**_I can taste it in your tears_**

She had closed her eyes.

_'Don't dare to die on me silly girl.'_ He thought.

"I won't bury you." He hissed through clenched teeth.

The ghost of a smile appeared.

"Who did it ?"

He just didn't want to let her go. He wanted her to speak and laugh.

Her lips moved but he had to bend the head to hear what she had to say. They were skin against skin.

**_Holding my last breath_**

It was painful to live and keep the death away, but she wanted this moment to last as long as it was possible. She was so glad to be able to hear him, touch him, and smell him… one last time.

"She did it. My nanny was the ninja who had to do it."

So painful to speak…

"I'm glad it was her."

_'Stupid girl, she just betrayed you.'_ he thought.

"If you're glad it was her, why are you here ? Why didn't you just die there?" he asked instead.

"I ran away. I wanted to see the heart of the forest one last time. Nanabi's helping me to stay alive."

"There's nothing to see, it's winter."

"So much light, so much white butterflies…"

**_Safe inside myself_**

**_Are all my thoughts of you_**

**_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_**

She remembered their plays in the snow. How his hair, a black darker than night itself, than the deepest corridor of hell, contrasted against his skin and hers.

Her life was passing before her eyes.

Such sweet memories: he was there, always. He had become everything she had had.

She would always remember his severe frown when she would throw herself at him, smiling and singing.

She had shared meals with him but she had never set a foot in his village. She wasn't allowed, first by her nanny and second, by him. He had said that only shinobi and people who paid for the services of shinobi could get in.

She had often asked him to show her some techniques and he would just reprimand her, telling her that this was not some kind of game, and then she would apologize for hours. He would tell her she was weak. She would pout and try to hurt him with her tiny fists, telling that one day she would be stronger than him.

She still could hear herself :

"I'll be stronger than you Orochimaru-kun!"

He would just chuckled.

She had been so annoying and yet… He wasn't letting her die alone.

She couldn't help crying.

**_Closing your eyes to disappear_**

She, who was as fragile as a snowflake, was proving him that he wasn't as powerful as he had thought to be. She was defying him! She was dying and proving there was something above him. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand the thought that one day he would also be surpassed by this stupid thing : Death.

**_You pray your dreams will leave you here_**

**_But still you wake and know the truth_**

**_No one's there_**

He woke up with a start. Everything was black except for a candlelight.

This dream again.

He couldn't help staring at his hands. Her blood wasn't there. Nothing.

He chuckled.

So stupid.

His laugh resounded in the room and in an instant Kabuto's chakra could be sensed outside, just behind the door. The boy was always alarmed by the slightest thing.

Kabuto knocked, a little taken aback by the sound, this laugh in the middle of the night.

Well, it happened sometimes, but mostly when some foolish shinobi had tried to snuck up on Orochimaru-sama and was being killed. Just another body he would have to dispose of.

He entered.

"Orochimaru-sama ? Is everything alright ?"

"What a stupid question Kabuto."

"Sorry sir. Was it another anbu's member ?"

"No. Just a memory. Leave me. I have no need of you."

He watched him leave, waited until his chakra disappeared. She was his secret and he would share it with nobody.

Where was she this little girl with milky white skin, this woman who died smiling ?

It was cold and his room seemed so empty. He could still sensed her touch, her body against his, her blood on him, yet… she wasn't there.

**_Say goodnight_**

**_Don't be afraid_**

**_Calling me, calling me as you fade to black_**

"See you." She smiled and then was no more.

He screamed her name, but she didn't wake up.

As the last rays of the sun faded away, leaving him in the dark, a crystal blue haze rise from her form and slowly disappeared in the air. Her last breath; her soul.

He didn't cried. He wasn't a man of feeling, particularly not a man of sorrow.

He just picked her up, bridal style and walk back to this secret place deep in the dark and white forest.

Pathetic. She had died so easily.

Pathetic; he hadn't even be able to prevent it and yet he had known for so many years.

He put her against a tree. She would have to wait here until he was able to come long enough to bury her… no… to bring her back home… his home.

"I will find you Soliacé. I'll find out where you're hiding now and you will have to keep your promise. "

To die was not something he wanted to experiment. To die was pathetic. To die was not his destiny. He hadn't came upon the white snake and her to die as any shinobi would. He was the best of his generation.

He took her second earring. They were connected she had said.

He couldn't die before giving it back to her now, could he?

**_Holding my last breath_**

**_Safe inside myself_**

**_Are all my thoughts of you_**

**_Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight_**

The sky was bright, not a single cloud. The sun was shining above a little shack where a woman was crying.

Her husband was waiting outside, unable to keep still.

When the midwife came to tell him it was over he rushed inside, smiling at his wife.

But seeing the baby, his smile faded away.

"The midwife said it was some illness, something rare but she is going to be a strong little girl, won't she? She's so beautiful, isn't she honey?"

"Yes…"

He tried to smile but he knew. He had been a shinobi and everyone knew. The white hair and the milky white skin, this seal on her neck. He was cursed, so was she… he would just have to love her despite this.

Somewhere far away, a young shinobi was learning his first kinjutsus(1), memories flying through his head. Memories of a little girl with wildflowers in her hair. The little girl who defied him by dying in his arms and letting him know that some day he would die too, that something in the world was able to stand in his way. He would know the last secret of life and master it. And, he would find her.

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(1) : forbidden justus

So, what do you think ?

Next time : _Taking over me_ or _Snow white queen_.


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